I Tried to Post a Feeling

Somedays I wonder why I created a blog if, in two years, I hardly blog. But I have found the reason why. I started it to share my poetry. Now, I use it as an outlet for the side effects of living.

I’m writing and erasing and rewriting and re-erasing. Can you tell? It’s hard to put my thoughts and intake of feeling and surrounding into written word. I have found, for me, the best way to do this is to rhapsodize in poetry or to list my most recent thankfuls. I wish I could just post a feeling and you could take the feeling and wrap it around yourself. I wish you could take it with you to your job and share it with the public. I wish you could extend it to your family. Ah yes. Posting a feeling would be quicker in getting the job(?), message(?) done. But I will try in human ways.

I must confess, I wrote and erased.

I’ll start with gratitude. I am grateful for-

Comfort. The shoe shopping is done for the year. I really detest shoe shopping. I don’t like to shop, but shopping for shoes takes the cake. The ritual I created for security in the mornings.

My Mondays are off days. The mug I drink tea out of. (Ended that in a preposition. Frown, English teachers.)

The opportunity to attend my friend’s wedding. Woodwick candles. Five shining stars. The fact that God is in control of my future. He knows exactly what is going to happen, and because I know that, there is no fear. I can trust explicitly in God’s leading. Coming to the realization of what confidence is. And being able to be confident without fearing human opinion. Knowing God’s approval counts more than human approval. Appreciating the way I was made and realizing beauty is in me, because God is in me, and God is beauty. Song. Singing is one of the most lovely ways to praise God. The cute socks I bought today. All the people who have prayed for me and all the prayers God has answered, and will continue to answer. All the people who have given advice, and listened to my endless questions and drama and problems. All the people who gave up their time for me. I feel selfish and grateful. My mum. She’s everything to me. Likewise, my dad. Steady, kind, and true. The minister who had and has, such a deep connection with God that he was able to see me, and help me. (I don’t know if you read my blogs, but thanks. And by the way, you spoiled my fear of ministers. I’m not scared of them anymore. They’re like co-shepherds with the Shepherd, and who can fear the Shepherd?)

I almost feel like apologizing for inserting God so many times, but I am so thankful to God. My job. Is this generic? It is a good job. And it has a steady schedule. I thrive on steady schedules. And I have an awesome boss and some really lit co-workers.

Welp, it is time to close this up. I was going to say text me anytime, but I want to stay safe, so contact me on the app message anytime, or email. I love to hear from people, even if all they say is, I’m doing this nasty load of jeans and I’m hating it with all my breath.

I love you all.