Q & A & smol update

What’s your favourite thing about being a wife?

  I don’t have any favourites. Here are some very enjoyable things.

  I am needed. This fills some sort of void inside of me.

  I like to keep house in whichever form this appears. I do vaguely dislike some forms but I know I like to have a clean house for both of our mentalities—this elevates any toilet scrubbing drudgery.

  Doing things together. See date nights, gym nights, icecream nights, car fixing nights, trips, coffee shops, driving to church, making supper, crying in the bathroom(that’s mostly me but he’s there), harrassing our friends(consensually ofc), trauma dumping & listening, inside jokes—oh wait. I’m describing a friendship but like, friends with benefits.

Do you desire to have children someday? If so about how many children would you say is a perfect size family for yourself.. like how many would you feel is what you would want?

  I do not know if I desire to have children someday. I think that the biological instinct is alive in me because sometimes I find myself mothering my husband or the dog or my friends, but to the most honest part of me, I don’t know.

  Sometimes I do. I think a child is a wonderful part of life. I like toddlers because they have big feelings and they are endlessly curious. Sometimes I don’t. I can’t really imagine wanting to subject a child to unhealed, inherited trauma; not to mention all corruption.

  Luke 23:29– “For, behold, the days are coming, in the which they shall say, Blessed [are] the barren, and the wombs that never bare, and the paps which never gave suck.”

  I digress. If we ever do bring children into this world, I would like to have three. I grew up with seven siblings and while the charm is there I do not recommend unless you are emotionally capable of giving each child love & time in the way they need it. There is too much room for attachment and emotional disorder in a large family.

  I also think sometimes I would rather be a mother to those who need mothering—not of my blood but out of my heart.

Are you expecting or did I dream that?!

  I assume you mean expecting a child. I am not pregnant. I don’t know if you dreamed that. I am not privy to your dreams.

What's your favorite thing about your new house?

The many windows.

Is there any book(s) you wish you could recommend to everybody?

The Will to Change by Bell Hooks

The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Cormer

The School of Essential Ingredients by Erica Bauermeister

Cold Comfort Farm by Stella Gibbons

Traveling Mercies: Some Thoughts on Faith by Anne Lamott

What seasonal part of fall are you looking forward to the most?

My husband: Apple cider. Also, the weather. I love cool weather.

Me: Everything.

If you had the whole world's attention for 30 seconds, what would you say or do?

I hate hypothetical questions like these. I would rather not, no. Please spotlight somewhere else.

Well. I was asked to answer this after all after being given a different way to view this question.

If you are a believer of God and you follow him; everything you do is for God and not other people. It may seem that you are doing things for other people but remember Who asked you to do that. In that same thought—other people’s opinions don’t matter. The only opinion that matters is God’s and you can read all about his opinions in the Bible. People’s opinions should not be what you strive to build your life around. “When we study to be approved of God—looking to God for approval and security—we are accepted by men.”-U.Y.

Is there any place you've visited that you never want to go back to?

I do not want to go back to Phillips 66 on Mishawaka Avenue in South Bend, Indiana.

Do you have a lawnmower?

I do not own a lawnmower but my husband does and I have used it only once because I do not enjoy mowing. The lawnmower is a breed of Cub Cadet. It is a zero turn. It took me ten minutes to learn how to drive the thing without yelling.

What’s the most helpful advice you could give to your younger self?

My husband: Marry the weird old stranger sooner.

Me: How young are we going?

Husband: 17.

He would’ve been 21 at that point.

Me: My younger self did not take advice so if I could give any sort of “helpful” advice I could trust her to throw it away as soon as possible. I believe that at every stage of my life I was doing the best I knew how to, even when I was in active destruction. So. No. But— my helpful advice—it all will be okay, even if it’s not okay right now and most likely won’t be for several years. Not helpful? Can’t help you. (laughs)

Thank you, all. My finger is growing a new nail and surely pushing the old one up and out. We are going to be visiting some friends over Labor Day and I am quietly estatic about that.

I am sitting on the black couch with a blue mug of tea and the little lamp that is a sort of small fire. It has rained in the night and all the windows are fogged up. In forty-five minutes, children will be lugged past on their way to school. I have started the dishwasher and when that is done, it will be laundry and a tiny bit of sorting up.

I hope the day brings at least one smile to all of your mouths.

Much love.